Times like this I want to re-evaluate my state of being entirely. I feel that I would be better off as a paramecium, or maybe a nematode. I'd be over the moon if I could be a tree sloth. But not a person. I don't make a good person.
This job I was supposed to start yesterday -- the one with the great pay and benefits -- has dumped me. I spent the past three weeks doing things for this job; pre-hiring requirements they called it, things that required me to actually quit the job I'd been offered at the really cool, lovely, soul-music-playing coffee shop so I would have time to get my fingerprints done, drive into Honolulu to get paperwork to fill out, take the bus into Wahiawa to have a TB test, go back to Honolulu for more paperwork, go to a clinic by the airport for a humiliating physical, all these crazy things that I had to do for them with very little notice given, and very indefinite communication on anyone else's part.
Yesterday, when I was supposed to start work, I went to the address they gave me, but within that address there were dozens and dozens of offices that all looked alike, and even though the one I went to seemed just fine, and the lady I met with gave me paperwork that she told me was what I needed, it apparently was not where I was supposed to be, and as I result, I got fired on the same day I was supposed to start. Technically they had me marked as a "no show".
I tried to explain that it was a mistake, that I thought I was where I was supposed to be, but these are brainless, soulless paper pushers with no concept of how other people operate. To them, I fucked up in an unforgivable way, which of course makes me FEEL like an unforgivable fuckup.
Now I have no job again. I'm right back where I started, only I've spent the past three weeks NOT looking for a job, so I feel like I'm three weeks behind. I was ready to feel proud of myself.
If anyone wants a painting, let me know. My prices are reduced.